( Here are just some notes I wrote down after listening to a podcast, and some thoughts I had on them! Hopefully they help you as much as they have helped me!)
Forgiveness is:
1. Cancelling a debt.
-There is no pay back. They owe you nothing.
2. Removing that person's control over you.
- If you don't forgive someone, they still have control over you, your emotions,
and how you live your life.
- Unforgiveness is also another word for bitterness. But how do you know if you are
bitter? Here's some questions to ask yourself:
1. Do you keep thinking about it?
2. Does it emotionally affect you?
3. Is it the kind of thing you can remember all the details?
3. A gift for THEM and YOU.
- Not forgiving someone doesn't affect only them, but also has a tremendous affect
on you. One of my favorite quotes is " Unforgiveness is like drinking poison, and
waiting for someone else to die."
4. Forsaking revenge.
5. Leaving ultimate justice to God. (God determines justice. Not you)
- If someone else has sinned against you, it is not your job to figure out what is to be
done about it.
Your only job is to forgive. The rest is God's.
6. A decision and a process.
- Healing takes time. Don't ever feel like you are in a rush to forgive someone. Allow
time for God to work not only on them, but also on you!
7. Genuinely want good for them.
- The hardest one probably, but when you can finally take this, you WILL see reward!
Forgiveness is NOT:
1. Denying or diminishing the sin.
- If someone has sinned against you, don't act like it didn't happen. IT DID.
2. Enabling.
- This isn't a pass to participate in their same sin. If someone has wronged you,
that doesn't give you permission to do the same.
3. A response to an apology.
- If you are waiting for an apology, they still have all the power. (what happens if
they never apologize?)
4. Covering up a sin.
5. Forgetting.
- Too often we hear that saying "to forgive and forget".... But here's the thing. Its
impossible to forget. It is not biblical ( as some say it are).
6. Trust.
- Trust always needs to be rebuilt. You DON'T pick up where you left off.
7. Reconciliation.
- This requires work from both ends, and unfortunately sometimes the other person isn't
willing to do the same. Its not fair to you to stay trapped in unforgiveness just
because they are.
